Monday
Sep132010
On Boys, Dads and Killing Snakes
Bernie Anderson
The day came all too soon. It was a Thursday. It was surreal. I got in my little (borrowed) Saturn Astra. Jonathan got in his Ford Explorer. We’d packed. We gassed up. We left Franklin. Destination: Greenville, SC. Jonathan has been with us for 18 years, and it’s time for him to venture off on his own.
I spent most of the trip in my car, he in his. Alone together. Together alone. We stopped just once, I think. For food. I spent most of the trip wondering how the time got away from me so quickly. Eighteen years really isn’t that long. As we drove past places along the way, memories flood my mind. Big Rock Mountain in Crab Orchard, TN. We camped a couple of times and learned to rock climb together there. We passed Gatlinburg, TN, where Renee’, Jonathan and I had some of our first family vacations. I still remember pushing Jonathan around in a stroller through the winding Gatlinburg sidewalks. As we hit the border of North Carolina and Tennessee, I made the decision that this is indeed my favorite area on the planet. Jonathan, Cori and I went on several camping trips in that area … some of the very first ones were there. Jonathan ate himself sick on blueberries. We hiked the AT. We slept in an abandoned barn. It’s funny how a stretch of interstate can have so many memories that I didn’t even know I had.
As a father, I want my son to exceed anything and everything I’ve accomplished. I guess, most Dads want that for their kids. It’s normal. My prayer and hope for Jonathan is not that he will “follow in my footsteps”. I want him to run past me. Blow me out of the water. That’s my hope. He is going to the same school that Renee’ and I went to. For that I am glad. It’s a good place to learn how to seek God. And as long as he seeks God he will do fine. I know he’ll be all right.
We arrived in Greenville that evening. It was dark. As we pulled on campus, so many other memories flood my mind. This is the place where I learned to follow Jesus. It’s where I learned that it’s more important “to be” than it is “to do”. It’s where I learned the things that I needed to know to sustain 17 years of ministry without quitting when it got hard. We parked the cars and started to wander around. We needed to find someone to help us check into our rooms. As we climbed the stairs to head to the dining room, I stopped short. There was a copperhead snake laying directly across the path in front of us. I had nothing to move it with, nothing to kill it with - and I sure didn’t want to step over it. If I’d had boots on, I would have stepped on it and smashed its head. But I was wearing sandals, and just didn’t want to take a chance of missing and having to go to the emergency room with a snake bite on my big toe. So, we climbed onto the building and were able to navigate around the snake, and we did find a young lady to help us. When I told her that there was a snake on the path, she gave a squeal and promptly brought me a shovel. Welcome to the Evangelical Institute.
I wasn’t able to kill the snake. It has crawled off the path, and I couldn’t get an angle on it with the shovel. I think I may have injured it. But now there was a really angry hissing copperhead in the bushes. We avoided that area for the rest of the night.
Jonathan and I worked to get his room set up late into the night. We drove around Greenville the next day and finished getting everything he needed for the coolest dorm room ever.
I spent most of the day continuing to wonder where the time had gone. Wasn’t he just pushing Thomas the Tank Engine trains around the living room last year? Wasn’t it just a few weeks ago that he was playing soccer in shorts that went down to his ankles and socks that went up to his waist? And I know it was just a few days ago that he donned his pink hat and with fear and trepidation boarded an airplane to Mongolia, trusting that Mom and Dad were not completely insane and that we were all doing the right thing. Now he’s 18 and in school. On his own. My heart hurts. But I am not worried. Not worried at all. I am really, really proud of him. I didn’t have much to do with him turning out as well as he has. God is faithful.
God is faithful … and time is fleeting. That’s what I keep coming back to. The Bible says that life is a vapor and all flesh is grass. I understand that better than I care to, now. We don’t really have that long on this planet and it’s sure not our home. We’re only visiting. It is more crucial to me than ever before that life be lived for the Glory of Jesus and not be wasted on uselessness. By my math, I’m at least half way finished (in all likelihood). My son is just starting his journey. I pray he finds more joy and more satisfaction in Jesus than I ever could. I pray that he fights harder and accomplishes more than I ever did. I pray he has less wasted moments. More fruit. More prayer. More victories.
It was getting late. I had a long journey to Wisconsin in front of me. Time to go visit churches and talk about Mongolia. We finished setting up the dorm room. I took some last minute pictures. We walked to my car and said goodbye. I could see him walking back to the dorm in my rear view mirror. I called Renee’, told her that he was going to be okay and cried. As I made my way north, I did much thinking and much praying for both of my children. I don’t know how great of a father I was for them. I get so uptight about stuff that’s not so important. They have both seen the ugliest sides of me. I wasn’t one to wrestle and I don’t think I did enough “Dad things”. But I know that there is one thing that both of my kids have learned from their parents. You have to do the will of God no matter what. I suppose if there is nothing else to learn, you’ll be okay if you learn that.
I listened to the Jars of Clay song called “Boys (Lesson one)” (lyrics below … it’s a fantastic song) and cried again. It seemed like an enormously long drive to Kentucky.
As I pulled off the Interstate, weary and worn out, I got a text from Jonathan. It simply said, “We killed it! :]”. I smiled and thanked God. He killed the snake that I wasn’t able to. It was really an answer to my prayers. God is faithful. Life is fleeting. I know that he’s in good hands and he will be fine.
I spent most of the trip in my car, he in his. Alone together. Together alone. We stopped just once, I think. For food. I spent most of the trip wondering how the time got away from me so quickly. Eighteen years really isn’t that long. As we drove past places along the way, memories flood my mind. Big Rock Mountain in Crab Orchard, TN. We camped a couple of times and learned to rock climb together there. We passed Gatlinburg, TN, where Renee’, Jonathan and I had some of our first family vacations. I still remember pushing Jonathan around in a stroller through the winding Gatlinburg sidewalks. As we hit the border of North Carolina and Tennessee, I made the decision that this is indeed my favorite area on the planet. Jonathan, Cori and I went on several camping trips in that area … some of the very first ones were there. Jonathan ate himself sick on blueberries. We hiked the AT. We slept in an abandoned barn. It’s funny how a stretch of interstate can have so many memories that I didn’t even know I had.
As a father, I want my son to exceed anything and everything I’ve accomplished. I guess, most Dads want that for their kids. It’s normal. My prayer and hope for Jonathan is not that he will “follow in my footsteps”. I want him to run past me. Blow me out of the water. That’s my hope. He is going to the same school that Renee’ and I went to. For that I am glad. It’s a good place to learn how to seek God. And as long as he seeks God he will do fine. I know he’ll be all right.
We arrived in Greenville that evening. It was dark. As we pulled on campus, so many other memories flood my mind. This is the place where I learned to follow Jesus. It’s where I learned that it’s more important “to be” than it is “to do”. It’s where I learned the things that I needed to know to sustain 17 years of ministry without quitting when it got hard. We parked the cars and started to wander around. We needed to find someone to help us check into our rooms. As we climbed the stairs to head to the dining room, I stopped short. There was a copperhead snake laying directly across the path in front of us. I had nothing to move it with, nothing to kill it with - and I sure didn’t want to step over it. If I’d had boots on, I would have stepped on it and smashed its head. But I was wearing sandals, and just didn’t want to take a chance of missing and having to go to the emergency room with a snake bite on my big toe. So, we climbed onto the building and were able to navigate around the snake, and we did find a young lady to help us. When I told her that there was a snake on the path, she gave a squeal and promptly brought me a shovel. Welcome to the Evangelical Institute.
I wasn’t able to kill the snake. It has crawled off the path, and I couldn’t get an angle on it with the shovel. I think I may have injured it. But now there was a really angry hissing copperhead in the bushes. We avoided that area for the rest of the night.
Jonathan and I worked to get his room set up late into the night. We drove around Greenville the next day and finished getting everything he needed for the coolest dorm room ever.
I spent most of the day continuing to wonder where the time had gone. Wasn’t he just pushing Thomas the Tank Engine trains around the living room last year? Wasn’t it just a few weeks ago that he was playing soccer in shorts that went down to his ankles and socks that went up to his waist? And I know it was just a few days ago that he donned his pink hat and with fear and trepidation boarded an airplane to Mongolia, trusting that Mom and Dad were not completely insane and that we were all doing the right thing. Now he’s 18 and in school. On his own. My heart hurts. But I am not worried. Not worried at all. I am really, really proud of him. I didn’t have much to do with him turning out as well as he has. God is faithful.
God is faithful … and time is fleeting. That’s what I keep coming back to. The Bible says that life is a vapor and all flesh is grass. I understand that better than I care to, now. We don’t really have that long on this planet and it’s sure not our home. We’re only visiting. It is more crucial to me than ever before that life be lived for the Glory of Jesus and not be wasted on uselessness. By my math, I’m at least half way finished (in all likelihood). My son is just starting his journey. I pray he finds more joy and more satisfaction in Jesus than I ever could. I pray that he fights harder and accomplishes more than I ever did. I pray he has less wasted moments. More fruit. More prayer. More victories.
It was getting late. I had a long journey to Wisconsin in front of me. Time to go visit churches and talk about Mongolia. We finished setting up the dorm room. I took some last minute pictures. We walked to my car and said goodbye. I could see him walking back to the dorm in my rear view mirror. I called Renee’, told her that he was going to be okay and cried. As I made my way north, I did much thinking and much praying for both of my children. I don’t know how great of a father I was for them. I get so uptight about stuff that’s not so important. They have both seen the ugliest sides of me. I wasn’t one to wrestle and I don’t think I did enough “Dad things”. But I know that there is one thing that both of my kids have learned from their parents. You have to do the will of God no matter what. I suppose if there is nothing else to learn, you’ll be okay if you learn that.
I listened to the Jars of Clay song called “Boys (Lesson one)” (lyrics below … it’s a fantastic song) and cried again. It seemed like an enormously long drive to Kentucky.
As I pulled off the Interstate, weary and worn out, I got a text from Jonathan. It simply said, “We killed it! :]”. I smiled and thanked God. He killed the snake that I wasn’t able to. It was really an answer to my prayers. God is faithful. Life is fleeting. I know that he’s in good hands and he will be fine.
Lesson one - do not hide
Lesson two - there are right ways to fight
And if you have questions
We can talk through the night
So you know who you are
And you know what you want
I've been where you're going
And it's not that far
it's too far to walk
But you don't have to run
you'll get there in time
Lesson three - you're not alone
Not since I saw you start breathing on your own
You can leave, you can run, this
will still be your home
So you know who you are
And you know what you want
I've been where you're going
And it's not that far
it's too far to walk
But you don't have to run
you'll get there in time
Get there in time
In time, to wonder where the days have gone
In time, to be old enough to
wish that you were young
When good things are unraveling,
bad things come undone
You weather love and lose your innocence
There will be liars and
thieves who take from you
Not to undermine the consequence
But you are not what you do
And when you need it most
I have a hundred reasons why I love you
If you weather love and lose your innocence
Just remember - lesson one
Boys (Lesson one) by Jars of Clay
Reader Comments (2)
Thanks for sharing. Good read & from the heart.
Thanks man, that gives me hope and encouragement for my boys and I.